bco. friday favorite | the traveling burts | always dating | love intensely

oh my soul! today is about the dating. and how good it is to be ethan's wife. 
ethan burt is a romantic. and he loves going on dates. with me! lucky, lucky. 
when we travel we have mini dates between work, amazing dates with our couples and then usually, if at all possible, a full dating day just the two of us. to explore, refocus, relax and enjoy.
these have quickly become my all time favorite memories of my life. 
i had no idea we would be traveling with this gig. but travel we do, and lucky i feel! 

we've recently shifted gears into being book people. we started out as movie people (our first date was to the movies, and most all dating life after that. movies, movies, movies), tv people, same show series every year people, but now we've also added reading. for a few years now we read one book out loud together and then several books on our own. we have very different reading taste, as you will see pictured below. he is boring and nerdy (but cute!) and i am entertaining but sometimes shallow (but also cute!) this also is a favorite thing about our life. i love growing in marriage. we've definitely become different people in seven plus years. but we've done it together. mostly. sometimes you have to be patient and wait for your spouse to grow with you. we've also been there. and taken turns being patient. but we are here now, and it's a great place to be. so we shop for books, browse libraries or used booked stores, sip the coffee, enjoy the scenery, dream of starting up other businesses, kiss a lot, laugh so much, and eat all the food. this is basically our date day, no matter what city we are in. so we are predictable, but it never gets old. it's always new. this every day love. today's friday favorite is a celebration of this life and this love. and this thankfulness in our hearts. 

the places we visited that are pictured : 
early girl eatery (great breakfast, cute location and happy workers) 
high five coffee (excellent, excellent coffee, customer service and atmosphere. top 10 favorite coffee traveling experiences for sure. ethan agrees)
double d's coffee & desserts (we did not purchase anything here, i just loved the look and location so i took this photo that i love. it looked like a really cool coffee bus and made me want one. of course mine would be yellow. or grey. i really loved this bus. what a fun idea!)
battery park book exchange (this place was very cool but the vibe rubbed me the wrong way. the people we kind of snotty or maybe i'm just too cheery for some people. we were brand new and didn't know how it worked and no one would help us. so we just figured it out. you must purchase a drink to sit and purchase your books before you can sit down and enjoy looking through the books. so, strike one. but we did. we ordered coffee that wasn't very good and then we purchased a lot of books. ha! they did help us load the seriously heavy book set into our car. we sat and enjoyed some new reads for a while until i couldn't handle being there anymore. i don't like to say mean things, but i wasn't happy with this place or the overall experience. but of course, with ethan anything can be made fun so it was still an amazing memory. but i would change the business plan if i was in charge) 

this trip is one of my all time favorites. the couple we were there working with are the chillest, babest pair. they did their wedding their way, and it was just so calm, perfect, happy and romantic. all the things we love about a wedding. they are overly generous and ARE love intensely. they are what we love a couple to be, so we all just perfectly meshed immediately. we did dating with them that was memorable, too. they told us their full love story which took a day. we ate, walked around, grabbed coffee, got their marriage license, walked around some more, drank more coffee, ate dinner, and heard their whole story. it was one of my favorite days of my life. to be trusted into someone else's love story, and asked to capture their love in a far away place, to be private and alone and the only two there. it felt so intimate, secret, the best type of romance celebration. i wish it's what we had done. but we didn't have anyone to take our photos! they are adventurous, they make us want to be more adventurous. they are loud in love, which, you know we are. we just matched. and i loved every moment of it. now we all follow each other's married lives online and hope to visit each other again one day. it will happen. i just know it will. but until then, memories. sweet memories. 

we have TWO amazing wedding days coming up tomorrow and sunday! 
and then on monday we get to see one of our couples-turned-absoulte-best-friends!  
it's turing out to be an excellent, full of love weekend. 
hope yours is amazing! 
happy friday! 

the importance of dating your spouse | love BURTco. living

life becomes increasingly tense. responsibilities grow. both in number and in scale. 
it becomes harder and harder to remember to rest in between. you're practicing your worry muscles more than your delighting muscles. 

we find the best way to remember is to date. and oh, do we love to date each other. 
to consciously forget what must be done and to consciously remember what's important. 

it's counterintuitive. we fool ourselves into thinking that if we lean harder and harder into our work load we'll be more effective. but instead we are met with an amount of stress that is proportionate to the amount of work we have accrued for ourselves. we either make ourselves remember or we are surprised yet again by how necessary taking breaks is. people rest differently. some people need isolation. some people need fulfilling conversations. some people need a night out. some people need a night in. some people need a combination of any of these. 
and part of the joy of marriage is learning the way each of you rests, and then doing those things together. 

ethan : 
i married you because i find you delightful. before we were married i decided that i wanted you around for most/all of the things that i do. for the rest of my life. since our wedding day it's become increasingly difficult to have at the ready the memory of our enjoyment. bills, business, relationships, require so much attention. i often give in to their demands. but when we go on a date our expectations change. our priorities change. there is a mutual understanding that for the next (insert time frame) we are all ours. no one else's. as the date goes on i can feel the weights beginning to drop. my breathing slows. my muscles relax. i have one thing to think about. and that is my beloved. you make me think about life. the glorious side of life. where touch is exciting, air is refreshing. and time is relaxing. being reminded of these qualities in life gets me excited again. it makes me want it to happen more. which makes me love you more. it makes me want you to be near me. since you remind me of the good things. and even though when our date comes to a close all those weights that we just put down we will be taking upon ourselves again, i am reinvigorated. i look forward to our next date. another break from the work that i am now excited to do. now that i have something to look forward to. 

bethany : 
when we were dating, everyone told me you were just being this good to me because we aren't married yet. you were putting your best foot forward and as soon as we were married you would stop with the surprise dates and the fun and the romance. but they were wrong. and every day for more than six years, you have become increasingly romantic and obsessed with dating me. i fall more in love with you every single time we pause together. you make me slow down. i almost always fool myself that if i just work more i could finish all the things on the to-do list and then i can relax. instead of listening to you when you say all of my life will be covered with lists of to-dos. and you're right. as soon as i mark something off, i also add three things. it won't end. it's work i'm proud of, but i still need rest to carry on. dating you makes me remember to slow my heart. relax my soul. reestablish what i am even working for. my favorite thing about you is how steady you are. resting my head on your chest and hearing your steady heart beat relaxes my breathing. calms my hummingbird heart beat. and brings me completely back to you. you remind me that my ridiculous delighting is necessary in this noisy world. you allow me to be free. you give me permission to be wild and weird and care-free. and you always include my favorite coffee drink. you keep surprising me with how well you know me. and it makes me want to know you more. you remind me that i don't have to be serious all of the time to take life seriously. 


reconnect with your love story. reconnect with each other. the reasons you fell in love. the why of your life.  reestablish. reestablish where you stand together. what foundation you stand on. what you stand for. what you stand against. if you fail to do this you may find yourself losing track of where the other is. and though you are married you can find yourself feeling alone. make sure you keep hold of each other in the dark. there are many lights and sounds that go on around us. if we look away for too long we may find that our beloved is lost. 

without remembrance, meaning is lost. it is important for each couple to discover what it is that helps them remember. remember why you became one. remember what you find important. and make a point to do whatever that is, and do it often. you will find that your heart is lighter. that your hands and feet are more ready to take on what's in front of you. you will be strengthened in the knowing that you have a partner in this fight. you don't have to do this alone. that is one of the greatest gains of marriage. 

we are always preparing for our dates. in the good and in the bad. 
the bad makes us long for that date, seeking retreat. 
the good excites us for the dates to come. because it is a glimpse of how good it can be if you keep your eyes on your beloved. so until that next date go take hold of your beloved. hold them tight. give them that big, sloppy wet kiss. and, this is important, pause. take longer than a second to look at the other. take a moment to remember this person you fell in love with. this person that you promised your life to. your good and your bad. their good and their bad. and with your eyes and with your words, let them know that you still mean it.

make it happen in the kitchen. make it happen while you're changing a dirty diaper. or five. 
make it happen when you've burnt the dinner. don't wait until things are good. make things good.